It has come to my attention that through all my years of dating, this last break up has been the easiest. Why, I ask myself? Well, this is a multi-fold explanation. I am so much smarter and confident that I've ever been and I am older and have seen more shit. Plus I think I've already done every thing I'm NOT supposed to do so it is only inevitable that I would pull my head out of my ass eventually. I have a child now and don't get to be so depressed for as long so this last one forced me to put on my big girl panties much sooner than I usually do. Because I did not have the luxury of staying drunk and eating ice cream all day while I cried to friends, I came up with ways to make the transition from being in love to being alone a much smoother and less heartwrenching time.
1. Throw away all the boy crap in your shower! The last place you want to be reminded of your previous lover is when you're naked, and the shower is prime real estate for that very thing to happen. I, like the good girlfriend I was, made sure my boyfriend didn't need to bring toiletries when he came to my house to stay and even bought that a-hole a toothbrush. Needless to say, I threw all of it away (but not before I used the toothbrush to clean my toilet). It made me feel good.
2. Change your bed. Since this is the place you probably made the most magic together, it's also the place that will make you miss him most. Doesn't matter what you do, just change it. Change your sheets or buy new ones. Change your bedding. Do anything that will make you feel like you are in a new space so you don't tie it to the memory of laying in bed with him at night talking about your future.....
3. Change the artwork around in your house. This serves the same purpose as changing your room. It allows you to rejuvenate the stagnant energy that is bogging you down in the memories of your past.
4. Smile every single day, no matter whether or not you have a reason.
5. Leave inspirational notes around the house for yourself. My favorite place is the bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker. That way, I could change it when I wanted to without killing any trees; plus, it was nice to get ready with a bit of poetry atop my head :)
6. Cry while you drive down the road with the windows open while you listen to sappy love songs. The more you do it, the more ridiculous you will feel when you realize the guy you were dating is nothing like the guy in the song. If he was, you wouldn't have broken up.
7. Watch "He's Just Not That Into You" at least once. You'll know why. Except for the part where Ben Affleck proposes to Jennifer Aniston. That shit would never happen in real life....
8. Find new hobbies. The busier you are, the less time you have to spend at home feeling sad and lonely. Feeling sad and lonely for too long really sucks and it's just not good for you!
9. Drink with your friends when you can and try not to talk about your break up. Give yourself a little time on this one but when done right, the aim is to get back to being yourself. You had a life before you were someone's girlfriend! you had shit to talk about before you started dating!! If you don't shine a spotlight on him, eventually you won't even remember why he was there in the first place.
10. Don't stay friends on Facebook!!!! This is crucial. Having the ability to stalk someone is never a good thing when you dated them. No matter what you find on there, it won't be what you want. You will overanalyze everything and give yourself false hope. No bueno, dude. We're all crazy enough without the help of social networking. Do not add fuel to that fire. I stress this most probably......
11. Stop fantasizing about getting back together. A guy breaks up with you because he wants to, not because he just thinks it's 'not the right time'. If they wanted to be with you, they would find a way to work that shit out.
12. Lastly, only call your friends when you feel it is absolutely necessary. The more you work through everything on your own, the quicker you can wade through it.
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