What every girl must do when a boy breaks up with her

It has come to my attention that through all my years of dating, this last break up has been the easiest.  Why, I ask myself?  Well, this is a multi-fold explanation.  I am so much smarter and confident that I've ever been and I am older and have seen more shit.  Plus I think I've already done every thing I'm NOT supposed to do so it is only inevitable that I would pull my head out of my ass eventually.  I have a child now and don't get to be so depressed for as long so this last one forced me to put on my big girl panties much sooner than I usually do.  Because I did not have the luxury of staying drunk and eating ice cream all day while I cried to friends, I came up with ways to make the transition from being in love to being alone a much smoother and less heartwrenching time.

1.  Throw away all the boy crap in your shower!  The last place you want to be reminded of your previous lover is when you're naked, and the shower is prime real estate for that very thing to happen.  I, like the good girlfriend I was, made sure my boyfriend didn't need to bring toiletries when he came to my house to stay and even bought that a-hole a toothbrush.  Needless to say, I threw all of it away (but not before I used the toothbrush to clean my toilet).  It made me feel good.

2.  Change your bed.  Since this is the place you probably made the most magic together, it's also the place that will make you miss him most.  Doesn't matter what you do, just change it.  Change your sheets or buy new ones.  Change your bedding.  Do anything that will make you feel like you are in a new space so you don't tie it to the memory of laying in bed with him at night talking about your future.....

3.  Change the artwork around in your house.  This serves the same purpose as changing your room.  It allows you to rejuvenate the stagnant energy that is bogging you down in the memories of your past.

4.  Smile every single day, no matter whether or not you have a reason.

5.  Leave inspirational notes around the house for yourself.  My favorite place is the bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker.  That way, I could change it when I wanted to without killing any trees; plus, it was nice to get ready with a bit of poetry atop my head :)

6.  Cry while you drive down the road with the windows open while you listen to sappy love songs.  The more you do it, the more ridiculous you will feel when you realize the guy you were dating is nothing like the guy in the song.  If he was, you wouldn't have broken up.

7.  Watch "He's Just Not That Into You" at least once.  You'll know why.  Except for the part where Ben Affleck proposes to Jennifer Aniston.  That shit would never happen in real life....

8.  Find new hobbies.  The busier you are, the less time you have to spend at home feeling sad and lonely.  Feeling sad and lonely for too long really sucks and it's just not good for you!

9.  Drink with your friends when you can and try not to talk about your break up.  Give yourself a little time on this one but when done right, the aim is to get back to being yourself.  You had a life before you were someone's girlfriend!  you had shit to talk about before you started dating!!  If you don't shine a spotlight on him, eventually you won't even remember why he was there in the first place.

10.  Don't stay friends on Facebook!!!!  This is crucial.  Having the ability to stalk someone is never a good thing when you dated them.  No matter what you find on there, it won't be what you want.  You will overanalyze everything and give yourself false hope.  No bueno, dude.  We're all crazy enough without the help of social networking.  Do not add fuel to that fire. I stress this most probably......

11.  Stop fantasizing about getting back together.  A guy breaks up with you because he wants to, not because he just thinks it's 'not the right time'.  If they wanted to be with you, they would find a way to work that shit out.

12.  Lastly, only call your friends when you feel it is absolutely necessary.  The more you work through everything on your own, the quicker you can wade through it.

Today's events

There is at least one day in every person's life when they feel like everything they are doing is right.  There comes a monumental amount of clarity that comes with getting older and today was one of those days for me.  Not only is my job perfect for me, but I realized that just working where I work has given me the ability to connect with people who have the same views on life as I do.  It's like I found all the other people dressed up as bumblebees.  I think we're all here to learn from each other and share all the knowledge we can to make this particular state of being a little easier and getting the most of any situation you are presented with.  It's all happening.......

So now I need to get on top of my writing and bring it when I start performing soon.  So much knowledge to soak up all around us and sometimes, we are able to recognize it and act on it in exactly the correct way.  Life is all about paying attention.  Open your eyes wider than you can comprehend and you will be amazed at what you already have right there in front of you. 

Never be afraid to ask for what you want and go for it.  Never let yourself down and you will never let anyone else down, for your happiness radiates to all those around you and if you walk through life with a light inside you, others may need that light but they can never take away its source.

"A thousands candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.  Happiness never decreases by being shared."  ~The Buddha

That guy really knew what was really going on...........

No matter where I go in the world, I will never be thirsty

Posso avere un'altra birra

Mohu mít další pivo

mozhet u menya yestʹ drugaya piva

puis-je avoir une autre bière

mag ik nog een biertje

kann ich noch ein Bier

Is féidir liom beoir eile

posso ter outra cerveja

puedo tener otra cerveza

kan jeg ha en øl

Saisinko toisen olut

Kě wǒ hái yǒu yīgè píjiǔ

esetleg még egy sört

I może jeszcze jedno piwo

Ben başka bir bira olabilir

monday, monday

Decided to take Tristan to fly his new Toy Story kite yesterday at Butler Park.  He assumed the kite was a costume and refused to fly it so most of our time was spent with him walking around, kite draped over his body, showing everyone how cool he was.  He made sure to nod and comment to those who did not take enough notice as well.  I love that kid.  Oh, to be that young and so easily entertained again.  I'm learning to take as much joy in those small parts of life and find myself smiling more and feeling a little less weary every single day.

On the Road

No matter where I go, all roads lead me back to my home.  The home I’ve made with my son and the home that never disappoints me.  20 hours of quality time with myself on the road and the good energy I picked up along the way gave me the insight I needed to come to the following conclusions:

The drive from Charlotte to Nashville is amazing.  There is something about driving through the foothills of the Smoky Mountains that has the ability to cleanse your soul and give you the awareness of a higher power than all of us.  Something truly made all of that.

Every single one of us has the ability to be happy and love one another. 

We all have the power to make the decisions that will allow us to have a better purpose than to just make money and die. 

We can choose to be shitty to the people that love us or we can give in and just see what this life has to offer, which is limitless enchantment.  You have to let go of the people who don’t get that part, plain and simple.

It's easier to be yourself than it is to be anyone else.  Come as you are or don’t even bother knocking on my door.

Music harnesses the power to soothe any weary soul. 

Forcing myself to go to Auditorium Shores yesterday when I got back in town was a great decision on my part and even though I cleaned about a cubic inch of dust out of my ears this morning and I still feel completely dried out, I do feel alive.  And that is something even money can’t buy.

Always say thank you for the things people have given you and let the people you love know that you love them.  It keeps your mind clear and keeps you from looking like an asshole.

Burritos at a music festival can actually be exactly what you need sometimes...surprisingly.

My patio is the best one on Earth :)